HAPPY 8 MONTHS.

hello little (slightly big) boy,

you are eight months old.  um, how did that happen?  how is it possible that we are now closer to your one year old birthday than your birth.  i have already scheduled the date for your first birthday party.  not sure if i can really wrap my head around that.


while i often lament about the speed in which your life is passing me by, i must admit that life with you just keeps getting better and better. i love you more every day, every hour, every minute, every second and you have become my little buddy, no longer the baby i took care of and entertained, now the best friend i spend my days with. you have quickly become the company i enjoy being in the most.  you are such a loving, affectionate, golden hearted, smiley, happy-go-lucky child.

we spend our time rough housing around the living room, snuggling up to good stories on the couch, climbing over blanket and pillow mountains on the bed, peek-a-booing, playing at the park, getting our hands dirty in the sand and the grass, meeting other kids at gymboree and playgroup, running errands and doing chores, and as long as we are together we are happy.  you are definitely a mama's boy and in the past couple of weeks you have become even more attached to me (which i wasn't sure was possible), often crying to get back into my arms when someone else is holding you and although i hope you will be an outgoing child, i love how much you need me.  it makes my heart swell to proportions i didn't know were possible.  you wrap your arms around my neck, plant giant kisses on my cheeks, run your hands through my hair, and reach out for me.  you truly love daddy with all your heart, lighting up when he walks in the door, we facetime with him, or you hear him on speaker phone.  when the three of us are together, you are at your happiest.

you are developing at lightening speed, each day bringing something new learned: giving kisses, waving bye-bye, blowing spit bubbles and raspberries, crawling, pulling up on everything, trying out new sounds, and eating adult foods, to name a few.  you are very in tune with your surroundings and you love imitating the people around you.  if we laugh, you laugh.  if we smile, you smile.  if we hum or sing a tune, you try doing the exact same tune.  with how aware you are, i think we need to start being on our best behavior around you.

you have always been a busy boy, our little wild child, and even before you were crawling, you were all over the place.  now that you are mobile, there is no stopping you.  your current infatuation with cords, power strips, opening cupboards, and everything else that is off-limits really means that i should begin baby proofing, but i've been neglecting that motherly duty and realized today as you stood up on the entertainment center and pulled a few heavy things off of a shelf that i really need to take care of that.  your mobility is allowing you to experience a little independence and you love exploring and investigating.  when we are out of the house, you are very inquisitive and take everything in. when you look at new things your mouth drops open in amazement and i can almost see your mind working as you decipher exactly what everything is and how it works. grandma calls you a little engineer.

your favorite thing of the moment is animals, especially tobi even though tobi isn't your biggest fan (you haven't figured out the concept of gentle yet).  i sing old mcdonald probably fifty times a day with every animal noise imaginable and you could read books about animals infinitely over and over.  you are completely enchanted when we go to the zoo or the animal farm.

you are such a sweet and caring little boy and it is amazing to see your personality come out.  your daddy and i love you so incredibly much.  these really feel like the best days of our lives because of you.

love,
mummy and daddy

you love:

water

fruits
giving kisses
walking everywhere
jumping
crawling
clasping your hands together (something you have done since birth)
clapping by swishing your hands up and down
blowing rasberries
spitting
saying dada and ah da
spending time outdoors
playing in sand, dirt, and grass
pulling hair and grabbing faces

you hate:

getting your diaper changed

having things taken off of you
missing naps (in the sense that you are then overtired)
taking naps
the car seat 

THE WILD MAN IS ON THE MOVE.

have i mentioned that my wild man is on the move?  as of april 17, my little man is officially crawling and if i thought i couldn't keep up with him before, i had no clue what i had in store for me.  he is into everything and is keeping me on my toes more than ever.  it's so amazing to see him exploring and discovering the world around him.

OVER THE WEEKEND.

the weekend was hot, toasty, and wonderful.  over the span of a night, the heat index skyrocketed and we went from light jackets with a slight chill to wearing nothing at all and still sweating.

on saturday, we packed a picnic and headed to east beach where holden could play in the sand and the surf under the majestic golden gate bridge.  as we packed up, we realized how unprepared we were for the summer, stopping to buy holden a bathing suit, rash guard, and giant sun hat on the way to the beach.  we discussed purchasing a large outdoor blanket so we could enjoy our food without granules of sand in it and a canopy to shield holden's gorgeous, milk-white skin from the sun's harmful rays, but decided we would get that in time for our next summer outing and brought a quilt from holden's crib and our big rain umbrella as a stand-in.  big mistake.  despite being mostly calm everywhere else in the city, the san francisco wind was whipping through the beach in large gusts and there was no way the umbrella was staying in the sand which meant that dustin had to hold it upright over us the entire time.  the small quilt we bought as a makeshift beach blanket was too tiny for all four of us (tobi included) and so we sat on top of each other, huddling together, trying to relax as the wind constantly whipped the umbrella out of our hands and sand onto our blanket.

as dustin attempted to eat his sandwich, i held holden's hands as we walked across the sand to the ocean.  despite the frigid temperature, holden repeatedly stepped into the waves that rushed up on shore, letting his feet sink into the wet sand, squeezing the sand between each little toe, and loving every minute.  holden's first time in the ocean.

after only a short while at the beach, we were frustrated with the wind and not enjoying ourselves, so we walked up to fort mason where we met hundreds of others who were out enjoying the once-a-year-80-degree weather that san francisco has to offer.  it was so packed that it looked like there was some sort of outdoor concert going on.  we hung out with friends, enjoyed some adult beverages, and let holden get spoiled with attention.

HERS & HIS.

1. tortoise retro sunglasses // 2. infant straw fedora // 3. white sheer button up // 

4. body short whale // 5. infant striped rainboots

yesterday, holden started crawling and upon the realization that he can get from place to place on his own, he has decided that he isn't going to stop moving.  he pounds the ground in excitement with his fists at his accomplishment of getting where he needs to be going and i feel like such a proud mama.  

NEW THIS WEEK.

holden became obsessed with jumping.  he can go for hours and hours.  when you jump him out of the jumperoo, he wants to jump on the ground, on your lap, in the air, and everywhere.  if only jumping was a way of getting around.

holden started fake coughing all of the time.  since i've been struck down with bronchitis and am coughing 24/7, he must think that coughing is a cool thing to do.

holden is crawling a few steps at a time, before his hands and feet fly out from beneath him and he flattens like a pancake onto the ground again.

holden loves walking more than ever.  it's definitely his preferred mode of transportation right now.  he is constantly asking for your hands so that he can walk anywhere and everywhere.  after he gets where he's going, he will turn around with a huge grin on his face as he waits for you to clap and say "yaaaaaay holden!" such a big boy.

holden began spitting bubbles from his mouth.  right now i think it's cute, but that's because he doesn't have enough momentum to spray it in my face...we'll see what i'm saying about this new skill in a few weeks.

EASTER WEEKEND.

1. duck wooden push toy // 2. handmade sock bunny // 3. perfect peacock puzzle // 4. baby legs // 

5. chewbeads cornelia bracelets // 6. kid-o bilibo // 7. boon swig sippy cup // 8. boon squirt spoon //

9. huggy bunny blanket // 10. dunck bath toys // 11. egg shaker

(inspiration photos from here.)

our easter didn't go as planned.  we missed the easter egg hunt, visit with the easter bunny, and easter pot luck with holden's baby friends.  while i envisioned photos of holden's first easter, his perfect easter outfit, pink and white bunny ears perched atop his head, pastel colored eggs caught in his tiny grasp, none of this happened.   we've had a cold outbreak ravaging our house this past week and we spent easter sunday laying in bed feeling miserable. i spent forever dreaming up the perfect easter basket, struggling to throw together a non-traditional basket that would work for a 7 month old, and i'm disappointed i wasn't able to pull it all together so i thought i'd share holden's virtual easter basket.

it all started with my awakening to a slightly sore throat last tuesday that morphed into a full-on, nasty cold by the weekend.  i thought that my breastmilk might save holden from infection (i was under the impression that breastfed babies never got sick), but it didn't and holden woke up from his afternoon nap on saturday burning up with a fever.  holden's first real cold. it's heartbreaking to watch him writhe and moan in pain, eyes red and watering, nose oozing and dripping, completely miserable and suffering.  all i want is to make him feel better, to take his pain away, but i can't so i hold him close against me, rock him back and forth, stroke his head, and whisper sweet nothings into his ear.   he needs me now more than ever before, not wanting me to leave his side even for a second, and i'm finding myself treasuring this newfound clingy-ness, appreciating his urgent demand for me to be beside him.  as i've laid him down each night, trying to stealthily steal away to eat my dinner and spend time with my husband, his small hands reach out in the darkness, latching onto a piece of my clothing and not letting go.  one hand cups my arm, the other tracing my face as he settles back into a peaceful slumber with the knowledge that i am by his side.  i've found myself relishing in his neediness these past few days, my wild child suddenly subdued enough to enjoy hours of cuddling and quiet time with mama.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

yesterday was dustin's 27th birthday.  he had to work during the day, so we decided to celebrate it at home (part of being new parents i suppose) with a summer (err, spring) dinner bbq.  since we weren't going out, i wanted to do something special at home so i gave myself a smallish budget and set to work on a scotch and chocolate (two of his favorite things) mini dessert table.  i created a 27 out of cardboard boxes that i cut up, taped together, and wrapped in crepe paper.  the left over crepe paper was hung from the ceiling and i used wrapping paper to create the background behind the table.  i bought minis from bevmo and he got to taste four different types of scotch and rank them from most expensive to least expensive.  the table wasn't perfect (the perfectionist in me kind of died over this), but it was something fun for the two of us.

GRAB THE REEF WHEN ALL DUCK DIVING FAILS.

on saturday, we woke up business as usual and headed to the second swim lesson of holden's life.  in a place not that far away (but could have been a different planet) my girl friends were dripping in green, taking shots, and drinking green beer...and in a different lifetime i was right there with them.  we left the house without an ounce of green between the three of us and headed to holden's swim lesson.  it wasn't until we were one minute away from the pool and were passing families with children that were outfitted head to toe in green that we realized it was saint patrick's day.  we contemplated turning around to change (it was holden's first saint patrick's day after all), but we didn't, forgoing st. patty's day observance all together.  this st. patty's day merriment was definitely quite different from years before.  

when i spend time with my girlfriends (who have been my best friends since college) that are sans hubbies and sans babies, it's sometimes unfathomable that i used to be by their side celebrating the festivities by bar hopping from early am to early am.  as my friends chat about their escapades from the night before, i feel trapped in an eerie twilight zone, feelings of deja vu waving over me with each sentence that escapes from their mouths.  didn't we have that same conversation a year and a half ago?  didn't we have that exact same night?  it's as if i could seamlessly insert myself back into the life I stepped out of a year and a half ago when we found out i was expecting and i always leave their conversations realizing the dramatic difference that having a child makes on your life.  it's not that as though i assumed their lives would change over the course of a year as much as it just seems odd that their lives haven't when mine has changed so much.

looking back at years past, those days hold a certain nostalgia, memories of the start of dustin and my life together.  we enjoyed being wild and carefree, gallivanting around the city high on love, crazy with boldness and brazenness, but then we were both ready to settle down and start a family. and we did.  and we couldn't be happier.  so this st. patrick's day we didn't get wild and crazy, we didn't head to the bars when they opened maintaining a steady buzz for the entirety of the day only to get kicked out at last call and we didn't binge drink like our former UCSB selves drowning ourselves in green beer, guinness, and whiskey...but once the little man was down for the night, we did sneak out of the house to enjoy a glass of green corona (i was craving mexican), get a little tipsy, soak up time with just the two of us, and remember our days before holden arrived, ever so grateful that he is in our lives and that we are in the place we are now.  it couldn't have been a better st. patrick's day.

SECOND TOOTH

The second tooth popped up last Sunday (it took me a few days to actually capture it) and we think that another one is about to break through on the top.  Although I absolutely LOVED his gummy smile, these two bottom teeth couldn't be cuter.

STARTING SOLIDS

We started solids a few weeks ago.  Even though Holden hadn't quite hit the 6 months mark, when we arrived at playgroup a few weeks ago and he was the only one not eating solids yet, we decided it was time to start. What can I say...we were caving to peer pressure already.

Through some information I had found on some blogs and a friend who had tried it with her son, we chose to started with Baby Led Weaning. But as much as we wanted it to work out, it just didn't. Holden gagged on each piece of food that we tried regardless of how small I made them.  Each bite was terrifying for us.  We would sit nervously on the edge of our seats, hands frozen in mid air behind him, waiting to force the food that we anticipated getting lodged in his throat out with a hard thump.  I worried that as much as we were terrified, Holden was rightly fearful as well.  I figured that choking wasn't the best introduction to eating and I didn't want him to begin to associate eating with that horrible feeling of gagging, so we switched to pureed foods which went down a lot more easily and took the fear factor out of the equation.

We started with bananas.  I think Holden was interested in the concept as a whole, but maybe not as much in the bananas themselves.  Amidst the looks of distaste, disbelief, and shock, there were deep inhales of excitement, squeals of delight, and ecstatic smiles, as H realized that he was eating just like us.  He was so proud of himself.  I could almost see his chest swelling with pride.

In addition to bananas, we have tried:

• sweet potatoes
• avocados
• peas
• apples
• pears
• carrots

Each food we have tried has been a hit or miss.  One day he'll seem disinterested and then another night I won't be able to shovel it in fast enough, but overall he seems to love bananas, avocados, and pears the most.

While I'm excited to watch my little baby grow (who can resist a baby with food smeared all over his face), I know that this is the beginning of the end to breastfeeding.  Something that seems so inconsequential will actually have a big impact on me.  Essentially, starting solids is the very beginning of weaning ::sob::.  The word wean causes my stomach to tighten, as if in anticipation of something horrible about to happen.  At the mere thought of the word, a heart wrenching reel, a video I must have seen somewhere at sometime in my life of a baby calf and mother cow being separated as the calf is being weaned from his mother, immediately begins to play in my head .  The calf crying out for his mother, the mother crying out for her baby.  The cries are heartbreaking.  It's enough to bring tears to my eyes every time.  Is this what weaning is going to be like for H and I?

Luckily for me, breastfeeding came easily to Holden and I (thanks in part to help from my mother, a certified lactation consultant).  It has been such a bonding experience for me as a mother and I love every single part of it.  I think I'm going to have a very hard time letting this go.  Although I never thought I'd be the mother to breastfeed past 12 months (and I may have even been judgemental about other mothers who did so in the past), I think that selfishly (or not so selfishly) I may just end up continuing on because I love it so much.

FIRST TOOTH

Today, Holden got his first tooth!  The front right of the bottom front two teeth.  We have been waiting for this day for months.  With excessive drooling and gumming on everything since month three, we have been sure that a tooth was going to pop up every day for the past three months!  We had almost given up, but it has finally arrived!!

Although, he did seem to be up more than usual last night, he was merely playing with his feet and cooing in bed (no crying).  What a brave little guy!  

HAPPY 6 MONTHS

To our Golden Boy,

Happy half year (6 month) birthday!  What a wonderful world you have created for us.  It's still unbelievable that you have been in our lives for half of a year.  It seems like just yesterday that we were driving home from the hospital filled with apprehension and excitement to bring our new baby home with us, and now suddenly in what seems like a complete blur we are here today with a six month old baby who has personality, lets us know what he likes and dislikes, and is becoming his own little person. 

We are so proud of you (daddy can't stop saying that tonight). Daddy says he feels like you're becoming a man and I know exactly what he means.  We are just filled with pride at all of your hard work and accomplishments so far in life. Although I have a love-hate relationship with your growth and development (I don't want to lose my little baby to a boy and then a man), I can't help but boast about the fact that you're hitting all of the 7 and 8 month milestones. You really are a very smart and  bright boy.

We could never have imagined a love like this.  I once read this quote that "Having a child is like having your heart walk around outside of your body" and I can't even begin to explain how true that statement is.   You own my heart.  No one could have prepared us for how you would utterly and completely fill our lives with joy, happiness, and love.  We live for your smiles and your laughs.

You are an extremely handsome and happy little guy.  People are constantly commenting on your model looks and brilliant blue eyes.  You have a serious side and a silly side.  At times you smile at every stranger on the street, but other times are very thoughtful and serious when meeting new people.  I wonder if you're shy as you stare pensively at a stranger saying hello, but then you love the attention that the old lady across the restaurant is giving to you, so maybe you have a shy side and an outgoing side at the same time.  At Gymboree, you always love being the center of attention - smiling, making excited squeals, and enjoying everyone flaunting over you.  It's funny because the teachers always spend extra time on you with each activity because you enjoy it so much and let everyone in class know.  

These days our time is spent like this:

6:30 AM  You wake up and talk to yourself, batting me and daddy in the face as your try to wake us.
7:00 AM  I wake up with you (during the week and daddy gets up in the weekend) and we go out to the living room to play.
8:00 AM  We both take a nap.
9:00 AM  You wake up and we play around the house.
11:00 AM We take Tobi for a walk and you fall asleep in the carrier.
12:00 PM We head out for the day and go to playgroup, music class, Gymboree, lunch with our mommy and baby friends, park, errands, hang with grandma, etc.
3:00 PM You take a nap.
5:00 PM Begin bedtime routine of dinner, bath, crazy play, and rockabye.

We always seem to have something fun to do every day and I love having you as my constant companion.  What I love most is that now when I reach for you, you reach for me.  Seeing you lift your arms up to me asking to be picked up or watching you lean out of someone else's arms with your arms outstretched towards me, melts my heart every time.  It's almost as if you're actually saying "mommy, mommy".

You are very inquisitive and are all over the place these days! You want to be everywhere at once.  You're not crawling per se, but you are literally leaping (like a little frog) in different directions (and face planting).  You haven't rolled over very much (5 times total), but you're moving in every direction.  If we are holding you, you will lean over trying to get onto the ground.  If you're sitting on the ground, you will leap towards something across the room.  It's getting harder to get things done around the house now because I can't take my hands off of you.  You are definitely a rough and tumble kind of kid, curious about everything and willing to take risks to explore those curiosities.  Nothing holds your interest for very long because you always seem to discover something newer and more exciting after a few moments. You want to touch, feel, rip, shred, pull, and eat everything in sight (I'm starting to think of you as my little demolition expert).  We have to warn people to not let you grab their faces and hair because you will hold on and not let go.    You like to pinch and grab our cheeks, noses, chins, or really anywhere on our faces, and I can't get your nails short enough where they don't feel like sharpened claws. Grandma calls you the wild child.  I left you with her one time when I went to run down the store and she looked like she had been through a tornado - her hair was astray, her glasses crooked, and she was exhausted.

You love being outside during the day and as the weather gets nicer, I can't wait to spend more and more of our time together enjoying and exploring the outdoors.  Sometimes when you fall asleep in the carrier, I spend the entire time sitting outside as you nap which always results in your longest naps. I've often considered putting you to sleep outside because the fresh air seems to extend your naps by an hour, but haven't quite figured that out since you're too curious about everything around you to fall asleep in the midst of it all.  We spend a lot of time at the park because swinging is one of your favorite things to do.  Although you hated the baby "swing" that we got when you were first born, you absolutely love being in the swings at the park whether its the small swing on your own or you're cuddled on mommy's lap in the big swing.

The two newest things you are doing are sucking your thumb and sucking in your bottom lip.  You are also constantly talking and discovering new sounds each day. You say mama and baba...no dada yet, but he practices with you every single day.  Every day brings something new!  Soon you'll be a walking, talking little boy.

Close to bedtime, you get into this crazy, wired state (am I waiting until you're overtired?) where you giggle, laugh, squeal, and leap all over the bed.  Your daddy will rush home from work each night, praying that he doesn't miss the wild child.  And even if we're reading a book or starting to rockabye, daddy can't resist starting a game of peek-a-boo and getting you rewired so he can elicit that electric smile that melts our hearts.

Life with you is bliss.  Pure bliss.

Love,

Mommy + Daddy

You love:

Sitting up
Peek-a-boo
Pears
Water (oh how you love water!)
The swing
Gymboree
Bubbles
Carrier
Falling asleep in the swing
Tobi
Watching older kids at the park
Being with mommy


You don't love:

Tummy time
Apples (or at least the tart one we tried to force feed you)
Naps
Being away from mommy
The car seat

Guess Who

Is sitting up...

this guy right here!